To Be Considerate Is to Be Mindful

Being considerate is not just saying please and thank you. It requires a mindfulness of the people around us.

Dictionary.com defines the word “considerate” as: showing kindly awareness or regard for another’s feelings, circumstances, etc.

When We Don’t Mean to Be Inconsiderate

When we get lost in our own little world, we are not mindful of others. Sometimes we don’t care about other people because we’re being selfish, or we’re reacting out of hurt. At other times, however, we are inconsiderate without meaning to be because we’re distracted or just unaware.

Most people don’t care or become aware of something until they are personally affected. I’ve been guilty of being unintentionally inconsiderate because I wasn’t mindful. For example, I’ve parked myself in front of a section at a grocery store trying to decide on a product without realizing others were behind me trying to look too. This has also happened to me and I’m more aware and forgiving of this and other offenses. Now, I stand back, still close enough to look at items, but without blocking anyone’s view.

What if we were more present, more thoughtful, more caring of how our actions affected someone else?

Tardy to the Yoga Party

When I’m in yoga class, I don’t have a problem if someone comes in late, though it can be disruptive and distracting. I try not to be late to class, but if I am, I do my best to find a spot without disrupting the class. I roll out my yoga mat as quietly as possible, whereas I’ve seen others come in late and just throw their mat down along with their other belongings rather than be discreet.

Walking in NYC

On several occasions, while walking in Manhattan, I’ve gotten stuck behind people who walk slower than I do. It could be someone walking in the middle of a sidewalk who unknowingly blocks my path even when I try to go around. Sometimes it’s a few people walking together taking up the whole sidewalk making it difficult to pass. I’ve also walked behind people who suddenly stop and aren’t aware that there’s anyone behind them. Luckily, I avoided bumping into them.

I’ve noticed many people (and yes, I’ve done it too) who walk with their heads down, looking at their phone. People practically walk into each other or worse, almost get hit by a car because they are unaware of their surroundings.

I recall one time when I was driving and stopped at a red light. There were three lanes of traffic and I was in the middle lane. A teenager was crossing right in front of my car. He assumed it was safe to walk, but wasn’t aware of the left turning light that had turned green. Imagine his surprise when a car in the left lane sped right by him. He jumped back to avoid getting hit. Both the driver and the young man were unaware of each other. Thankfully, no one got hurt. I doubt the driver ever noticed the teenager because he didn’t slow down, but the teen will probably be more aware next time he crosses the street.

Subway Etiquette

When on an escalator in a NY subway station, it is common courtesy (but perhaps not widely known) that you form a single line to the right side of the escalator to allow people to pass on the left side. On occasion, there is someone who doesn’t move all the way to the right. You can say, “excuse me” and then pass if the person has room to move over, but that’s not always the case.

On the subway, I’ve seen one person “hogging” the pole. This is when a person hugs and leans on the pole preventing others from holding on when the train is moving. I admit this one confuses me, as I’m not sure if this person is oblivious or just doesn’t care.

Considerate Acts

Most offenses are not meant as a personal attack. And, we don’t always know what’s going on in a person’s life that makes them act the way they do. I try not to be annoyed by people who come across as rude or inconsiderate. Not everyone is aware that they are.

Though transgressions happen all the time, there are also many instances where people are considerate towards each other:

• Though I’ve seen drivers speed up to prevent others from cutting in, I’ve also noticed kind drivers who let others merge in front of them.
• On several different occasions, I’ve seen customers with a cart full of stuff let someone with only one item go ahead of them.
• One time, I was in line at a convenience store and I could tell the man behind me was in a rush. He couldn’t stand still. It was obvious that the line wasn’t moving fast enough for him by his repeated sighs of frustration. I asked him, “would you like to go in front of me? You seem like you’re in a hurry.” He jumped at the chance to go ahead. Grateful and apologetic, he explained that he was running late for an event.
• Once, I boarded a plane and all the overhead bins leading up to my seat were full. I had to stow my luggage farther back than where I was sitting. When we landed, a kind stranger retrieved my bag for me so that I wouldn’t have to wait. This unexpected act of kindness happened more than four years ago and I still remember it.

How would you feel being on the receiving end of a considerate and mindful act? I know I’m grateful for those times when I am. Being aware of other people and our surroundings allows us to be more considerate (if we choose to). And, we could make someone else’s life easier or better in the process.