I wish I cooked like my mom. Now that I’m older and she is no longer around, I wish I had paid more attention when she cooked. She tried teaching me and my sister. She had us help her in the kitchen, preparing, mixing and stirring, and making sure food didn’t burn. Maybe she thought that by having us in the kitchen we would catch on, but I never really developed a passion for cooking… though I definitely loved (and still love) to eat. I think I can cook, but I don’t do it often enough to consider myself a good cook or be at the same level as my mom. At least not yet.
Vulnerability in Cooking
There is a vulnerability in cooking. You’re sharing a part of yourself, putting a piece of you in what you make and create. It can be a little intimidating to cook for others, especially when you’re a newbie. You put yourself out there and open yourself up to praise or criticism depending on how good or not so good your food is.
When I was a teenager, I attempted to make some sort of chicken casserole that I put way too many bouillon cubes in. It was salty AF, but my dad ate it anyway and finished it all. I don’t know if it was out of love or the fact that he couldn’t throw something out because that would just be a waste of food. LOL.
Mom’s Recipes
When I had my own place in Georgia, I asked my mom for the recipes to some of my favorite Filipino dishes. She hand-wrote and mailed me a little packet of her recipes. From chicken adobo and bistek (beef steak) to lugaw (rice porridge) and pancit (noodles).
I was bummed when I misplaced that packet (which was bound to happen between my many moves over the years). A few months ago, I thought about those lost recipes and wished I had them again. As I was going through some of my stuff and packing for my move to Ohio, I found them — still in the original envelope it came in! I was thrilled to find them and to have something that came from my mother.
Shortly after moving to my new place, I cooked one of those recipes for the first time — chicken afritada, a kind of Filipino stew. I think it came out pretty good. My fiance, Alex seemed to really enjoy it and I was proud of my accomplishment. I’m still not cooking as much as I’d like, but at least I have some of my mom’s recipes again. It brings back fond memories of her. It also gives me a chance to practice cooking Filipino food and become a better, more confident cook.
