My former philosophy teacher used to say, “Don’t should yourself.” It sounds funny but is good advice. Something that I thought of when I read a passage of Louise Hay’s book You Can Heal Your Life.
According to the late motivational author, “should” is a damaging word. Hay recommends removing it from our vocabulary because of what the word implies. “Should” suggests we are wrong, were wrong, or are going to be wrong.
I’ve should myself countless times saying things like:
- I should eat healthier.
- I should watch less television.
- I should lose weight.
- I should read more.
- I should blog more.
- I should eat less.
- I should exercise more.
These arguably helpful and seemingly harmless phrases tend to be more critical than motivational. It may even add guilt, frustration, stress, or a sense of obligation if and when we’re not doing what we think we’re supposed to be doing.
So, what do we say as an alternative? Hay recommends using the word “could” instead. Replacing “should” with “could” gives us a choice. It changes the connotation of those previous “should” sentences and offers a possibility for the future.
