What does jealousy reveal about you? When the answer isn’t obvious, you may need to delve deeper. Jealousy may arise when you compare yourself to others. If you’ve ever felt jealous, it was likely because someone had something you didn’t. What was it? Was it their appearance, a material possession or money, a skill or talent, a job or other opportunity, a relationship, or something else?
An Insecurity or Unmet Need?
Feeling jealous may have been triggered by an insecurity or an unmet need. An insecurity could stem from not feeling like you’re enough, whether that be pretty, smart, skinny, good enough, or whatever. Jealousy could also be a reaction to a fear of losing something, or it could come from an unmet need, such as wanting attention, recognition, or feeling seen and heard. It may also signify a lack of gratitude.
Comparison is the Thief of Joy
Once, I was a little envious of a friend who got a new job in my field, but was outside of hers. I was jealous because it seemingly landed on her lap while I was struggling to find a job at that time. I’ve also been a bit jealous of fellow roller skaters who seem to learn and level up faster than me.
When I’m feeling jealous, it usually means I’m comparing myself and lacking gratitude. To quote Theodore Roosevelt, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” My jealousy faded when I changed how I looked at what I was jealous of.
An Opportunity for Growth
I don’t enjoy how jealousy feels and I would rather be happy for others and their successes than be jealous. Jealousy can be a catalyst for change and an opportunity for growth if you allow it to be. Instead of comparing or feeling bad about myself and asking, “Why them and not me?” I asked, “What could I do to achieve a similar outcome?” What is stopping me from getting the things I want? Adjusting my perspective, having gratitude, avoiding the comparison game, and putting in the work when needed are all important.
In the case of my friend’s job opportunity, I realized that her abundance didn’t take away from mine. As I wrote in a previous blog, Manifestation through Mindset, I changed how I looked at my job search, which eventually led me to my current job. Regarding skating, the more I practice, the better I’ll get. In my blog, Still Inspired to Roller Skate, I list things to remember when skating, such as not comparing yourself to others and being patient because we’re all at different levels.
While jealousy is a normal reaction and emotion, the next time you’re feeling jealous, ask, “What does jealousy reveal about you?”
