My thoughts form in random places. Monday, it happened while I was picking up a chicken sandwich and a yogurt parfait for lunch. Grief has a way of hiding in everyday moments, and the last thing I expected was for a parfait to trigger mine. It brought me back to my childhood when my mom used to buy my sister and me KFC little bucket parfaits, and I got teary‑eyed.
My gravel bike recently got a few upgrades, switching from a two‑by to a one‑by and adding a bigger cassette to help me on climbs. We decided to test everything after work on a Thursday ride in Cleves. Mt. Nebo Road is a long steep road out there that I’ve ridden down before but never attempted to climb. I reluctantly agreed to try.
Cycling in Riccione, Italy, was a trip filled with beauty, good rides, great food, and a few unexpected challenges. Even with all the excitement, the week did not unfold perfectly. I struggled with sleep from the moment I boarded the plane. I can't seem to sleep on a plane and the overnight flight was no different. During the trip, I also found myself wide awake at 3:00 or 4:00 AM a few nights, unable to fall back asleep.
I traveled to Italy for the first time this spring. We flew into Bologna and stayed there the first night before heading to Riccione. It was a nice way to settle in after a long travel day. Our first authentic Italian meal and a little exploring made for a gentle introduction. We’d return to Bologna again on our last night.
When I see social media posts of gatherings or parties, it brings up a strange mix of feelings. I wouldn't say it's FOMO. It’s more a reminder that I’m not really part of those circles. And yet, I don’t wish I were there. There’s a combination of relief and longing when I’m not invited. Part of me is glad to skip situations where I might feel awkward, but another part still wants to feel included.