It wasn’t until long after my divorce that I would learn about The Four Horsemen by the Gottman Institute. The Four Horsemen (as in the Apocalypse) is a metaphor to describe communication styles that can predict the end of a relationship. They are: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.
This tip from marriage and family therapist, Vienna Pharaon isn't just for romantic relationships. While this advice has helped me with my partner, it has also helped me put things into perspective with one of my friends.
An acquaintance asked me if I didn't think it was too soon to be engaged after getting a divorce. I don't think so. It's been four years since my divorce, but there is something more important than the amount of time that has passed.
Pausing takes practice. It’s not something that comes naturally or easily for me, especially when I allow my emotions to take over.
Having lived in Georgia for a little over a decade, I return to visit my “second home” when I can. My most recent trip to Atlanta was so much fun. I flew in from New York on a Thursday night and my fiance, Alex drove down from Cincy on Saturday.