“When you are offended by any man’s faults, turn to yourself and study your own failings. Then you will forget your anger.” – Epictetus
I’ve noticed how some interactions with people have left me feeling drained, frustrated or annoyed. The conversations typically focus more on the negative rather than the positive. Sometimes I could be listening to someone vent and I’d get annoyed by the repetitive nature of the conversations. Ever get tired of hearing the same thing over and over again? I do, especially when someone doesn’t seem to be doing anything about their the problem or keeps holding on when maybe they should just let go. There’s no progress.
A Mirror
The Epictetus quote above suggests not to be judgmental and it also refers to how a person acts as a mirror. I tend to criticize when I am annoyed. Rather than judge, however, I’ve started to ask myself, why does this bother me? Maybe how I perceive someone’s shortcomings is actually a reflection of my own. Basically, what I don’t like in someone else is mirroring back what I don’t like about myself.
It may have reminded me of my own insecurities and the things I don’t like about myself such as: not speaking up when something bothers me, making assumptions, taking things too personally, not having strong boundaries, indecisiveness, the feeling of being stuck, not feeling worthy or good enough, and self-doubt. Acknowledging these within myself is not new. I have worked on improving many of these aspects about myself. One would think that I’d be more patient and understanding of others, but that’s not always the case. I’m learning how to observe my reactions and feelings in those instances. It reminds me to have compassion, patience and kindness towards others, as well as myself.
Then again, maybe at times it has nothing to do with me… people are just annoying. LOL.
