No one person will be able to meet every single one of your emotional needs, every single time. That’s why it’s good to have a support system of friends and family you can lean on. But even then, there will be times when you’ll need to be able to self soothe.
To Self Soothe Is an Important Skill
The ability to self soothe is an important skill that enables you to calm yourself when you’re feeling emotionally overwhelmed.
I recall one time after an argument, I experienced a lot of different emotions because of the conflict. From being triggered, having anxiety and feeling angry, hurt, and upset.
At the time, I felt alone and lonely. I reached out and texted a few friends. It was an early Saturday evening, so I wasn’t too upset when none of them responded immediately, as they have their own lives. Still, I hoped I could talk to someone — though I’m not sure what I would have revealed had I gotten someone on the phone.
How I Soothed Myself
I tried to distract myself. My plan was to work on something creative which I did until I lost the motivation to continue.
Rather than sit at home doing nothing, I decided to go outside. I wasn’t in the mood to go shopping, so I went to a nearby park instead.
Exercise usually makes me feel better and I figured I could release some of my heavy emotions by walking around the lake. It was also a better, healthier alternative to emotional eating. I was sure that moving my body and being out in the sun would help, as would the calming effects of being in nature. During my walk, I also reflected and prayed.
Though I was still upset, I felt so much better after my little excursion. I didn’t get much sleep that night, but I was less anxious the next day. By the time my friends had responded to my texts, I had already soothed myself and no longer had an urge to emotionally unload.
Ways to Calm Yourself
There are many ways to calm yourself and some may work better than others. Here are my ideas for soothing myself:
- Do something productive (chores, clean, organize, etc.)
- Exercise (go for a walk, hike, run, do yoga)
- Get out in nature
- Pray
- Be creative (paint, color, cook, etc.)
- Pause / breathe / meditate
- Have tea
- Read a book
- Journal / write
- Visualize a favorite place if you can’t physically be there
- Take a bath
Having a good support system is important, but the ability to self soothe is also essential. There will be times when you’ll need to be able to get through emotionally challenging moments by yourself.
