There’s a quiet longing for friendships not yet formed. Since moving to Ohio I’ve met wonderful people through my husband, our hobbies, and social events. Yet between choir rehearsals, group rides, and shared laughter, I realized that connection doesn’t always lead to closeness.
When I was younger, friendships seemed to form more easily. Many of those relationships—from classmates to former coworkers—have endured across the years and miles. But I miss the in-person hangouts, spontaneous get-togethers, and shared moments. I long for meaningful connections closer to home and heart.
Why does it feel harder now?
Maybe as I get older, I’ve become more selective. I long for depth and sincerity, yet ease. I know what energizes me and what exhausts me. Does this person bring joy or drain me? Do we share common values? I’m searching for someone I feel naturally comfortable around and where conversation flows effortlessly. I want the kind of feeling where it seems I’ve known someone forever even when we’ve only just met.
Becoming Intentional
Between introversion, a busy schedule, marriage, and life in general, I’m realizing that building new friendships requires intention. With a desire for female friendships closer to home, I’ve explored women’s groups and reflected on the activities I already do. I’ve prayed about it, too. To meet the “right” people and have the discernment to nurture the right relationships, whether with women I already know or have yet to meet.
I’m hoping for some immediate spark, but maybe I need to try and let it unfold over time. If I do meet someone I’d like to get to know better, I’ll try what a young woman once suggested to me: be bold and ask them to meet for coffee.
Still, I hope to meet someone I “click” with. Someone who shares my values and where laughter comes easy. It may take effort and time, but a connection that turns into closeness will be worth it.
